rachified's Diaryland Diary

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In Him We Trust

We're made to loose the people we love.
How else would we know how important they are in our lives?

With his facebook profile staring into my face, this surge of emotions blows me over and catches hold of my breath. My chest feels tight, my eyes are sore, my throat is dry but all that were moving were the tears that rolled down the corner of my cheeks. A dull ache wraps itself around my heart..

I know that from this present moment on till the future beholds, ill never meet him in person or even exchange words of greetings. He had already made a decision to leave this world exactly 4 months ago. Ill never be able to know him even though i madly wanted to.

As i sat against the cold bed frame, lap top casually thrown across my legs, i responded to this foreign pang of emotions and addressed it with a curious twitch. I wondered for a long time all the reasons that i could possibly conjure as to why and how i could feel so much for someone who i haven't even met or seen and has already left. I could not justify it.

Through the silence of the dark morning skies, i could hear logic, morality and rationality aggressively arguing across the room. I made my way through the massive battlefield and lay out my resigned body to this irresolvable involuntarily feeling i have for a dead person whom i've never met. I smiled coldly at the only resonance of this stranger on my monitor screen.

He smiles back at me.

I close my eyes.

He approaches me.

6.00 a.m. - 2009-07-01

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